Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older and more irritable, but the weekly shopping that I used to look forward to with great enthusiasm has now become a dreaded chore.
“You actually looked forward to it”, I hear you ask (all two of you….thanks mam, thanks Jay).
Yes, once upon a time, I enjoyed it! Every week I would look forward to wandering around the supermarket for at least an hour and stocking up on veggies, frozen food, goodies, treats, cleaning products, hair products, skin products, etc. And, during the week, if we were caught short for the basics (milk, bread, butter), because I’d overlooked them in order to cram my trolley with ’special offers’, I would pop down to the local shop and try to resist the urge to fill another trolley there.
Special Offers!! Yeehaa!!
TROLLIES
When the girls were small they would sit in a trolley (Bee in the seat and Ally in the trolley itself) and beg me to push them and let them go flying down the aisle. Of course, I never indulged in this dangerous practise – not even in empty aisles where no one could see me – it wasn’t me if you saw me.
A few years ago trolley manufacturers stopped putting the all important ‘propeller bar’ under the trollies – spoilsports. They also removed the ’spuds bar’ which was the one you put your sack of potatos across if you hadn’t a child or two standing on it already.
Wheeeeee!!!!
GOODIES!
Of course, bringing the girls with me was often a great way of making sure that I would end up with plenty of ‘nice’ things in the shopping. I would get to the checkout and unload all the messages to find a variety of products (usually chocolate) that the girls had pulled off the shelves unknown to me. I counted ten packets of Toffypops one day, not a word of a lie. It didn’t bother me too much though as I’m quite partial to the odd Toffypop. I knew they wouldn’t last too long. As I landed my bulk purchase of biscuits onto the conveyor belt I could see the checkout operator looking at them with surprise.
Yum! Toffypops!!
“Someone likes Toffypops” she said to me.
“That’ll be the girls” I said, nodding in their direction. I shook my head, raising my eyes to heaven, “they do this every time….”
“Ohhhhh”, she said “I’ve one like that too. Pulls everything off the shelves. You don’t have to buy them. I’ll just put them over to the side here”. She began to move the packets nearer to the till.
“Gosh no, not at all, I’d hate to be any trouble” I said and moved the packets back.
“It’s no trouble at all pet, don’t you worry. There’s a girl comes around with a basket every so often and picks up everything at the tills”.
She slid the packets over beside the till again.
“It’s really ok” I said, gripping the biscuits resolutely and smiling at her, “I really couldn’t be upsetting the girls”.
She held onto the biscuits for a moment longer before saying “All right love” and letting go of them. She looked at me as though I’d lost my marbles and she didn’t want to see the effects of me losing my Toffypops as well, and began to register everything on the till.
There weren’t any scanners back then. You actually had TIME to pack your shopping. Which is where my hatred of shopping starts.
Why, when I am removing my stuff from the trolley to put onto the belt am I asked for my clubcard?
Argh!!!!
I want to ask why I can’t present the card when I am paying for the goods. At least then I would only have to go to my bag ONCE! I never ask though. I break from what I’m doing, open my bag, take out my purse and root for the rewards card among the library cards, student cards, business cards etc. When it’s scanned I replace it and go back to putting the items on the belt….which brings me to the next part of the shopping that I’ve begun to hate.
WHY, when the groceries are filling the bag area and are in danger of falling off onto the floor, and I’m working up into a frantic sweat trying to unload stuff from the trolley and pack at the same time, does the checkout operator persist in pushing more items through the scanner?
Even more Arrrrghgh!!!
If my luck is really out, a couple of the dreaded Bag Packers will surface from somewhere.
“Have you got a bag?”
My shopping looks like a reconstruction of the MacGillycuddy’s Reeks on the counter and I’m being asked if I have ‘A’ bag! I usually push the smallest bag I have in their direction – enough room to pack the box of firelighters and the shampoo and conditioner, that are sitting in front of them, into it. They will then pack the firelighters, a loaf of bread and a pizza into it and throw it into the trolley which means I end up trying to repack the bag again. While I’m doing this, and searching for the freezer bag to put the pizza and other frozen foodstuffs into they’ll, meanwhile, be firing raw meat in with jars and kitchen cleaner and throwing them in on top of the eggs that they’ve put at the bottom of the trolley. And just as I think I’m getting control of the situation the checkout operator will finish registering everything and announce “Now, that’s one hundred and seventy three euros and fifty six cents”. I then have to reluctantly forfeit the rest of my packing to the two Bag Packers who are now having a race to see who can fit the most into the bags first, while I search for my laser card.
I go to insert my card into the machine and the next customer is standing in front of it. A *total* invasion of my personal space!!
Gimme ROOM like!!
Space Invader
I smile and say “excuse me” as I try to get to the machine, and the invader moves back, slightly, and stares at what I’m doing. I fume inside and try to conceal the machine with my left hand as I vehemently punch in my code with my right. It’s at this moment in time that I envy those who have the neck to shout “What are YOU lookin’ at?” if they catch anyone glancing in their direction.
After I’m handed my receipt and have stuffed everything haphazardly into my bag in order to get out of the way of Mr. Enthusiastic Customer of the Year who has now started giving *me* the dirty looks, I throw all my change into the Bag Packer’s collection bucket and aim my trolley for the doorway, vowing to do the following week’s shopping on line.
Irish Mammy on the Run
CheapEats.ie
Inside View from Ireland
The Skaian Gates
